This weekend I encountered my first stereotypical yobs on the train. I would be shocked if they were older than 13 years old. Now I have heard about these unruly and frightening English teenagers with no respect for anyone, however I’ve not actually come across any in the past 3 odd years since living in London. In fact the majority of children I come across are possibly a bit hyperactive at worse, generally well behaved normal kids.

So in my head I’ve always thought that should anyone start causing trouble with me I would shrink into the corner and hope they go away – especially if surrounded by people – wouldn’t want to cause a fuss. However what I didn’t factor in was that I was with my own son at the time of encounter. The stereotypical yobs made a mistake and started pushing him and jibing him. Next thing I had the boy by the ear telling him to back off. After a few choice words from him to me (no doubt trying to big himself up again after being told off like the naughty boy he was in front of his friends) they left the train and went to cause trouble else where.

Although I was shaking a bit (you know – the aftershock from a public confrontation – doesn’t happen much to me..) I was really sad. These were just boys who obviously had very little structure, their clothes were grubby and smelly, they had alcohol on their breath and in general they looked neglected. I am so grateful to know that my son will never feel or go through what they have obviously gone through. These kids were worn. My heart broke a bit as only a mum’s can.

The incident was put behind us and we enjoyed the remainder of the day. Lucky we were with friends and that made it easier to forget the initial unpleasantness.

Later that day we are on the train again and Jim was playing a game on my phone. I sternly told him to turn it down, which he did straight away. Immediately an old man leaned over to me and said the most absurd words to me…
‘You don’t actually think you are going to win do you? Kids…’
To which I replied, ‘Well actually I think I just did.’

So in one day I met children who had no respect for adults and an adult who expected a small child to be in charge of his mother. I was relieved to get home. The world makes more sense there.

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Don’t demand respect as a parent. Demand civility and insist on honesty. But respect is something you must earn – with kids as well as with adults.
William Attwood

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If you bungle raising your children, I don’t think whatever else you do well matters very much.
Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis