If a child is to keep his inborn sense of wonder, he needs the companionship of at least one adult who can share it, rediscovering with him the joy, excitement and mystery of the world we live in. – Rachel Carson.

I had an episode with Jimmy the other day. I was irrationally upset and some would say disproportionally upset.

I can’t talk for anyone else, but I sometimes confuse my son’s childhood with my own and bring into the present latent issues from the past.

I subconsciously see what I consider to be my failings and worry that he will have the same difficulties that I had at school such as fitting in, keeping up with school work and the sinking realisation that teachers are in fact out to get you. I had (and still do have) a great loving family, good home and everything I ever needed. In fact I feel a tremendous sense of guilt that I have not been giving my own child the quality of childhood that I had. In any case, for whatever reason, school for me really did suck.

School days being the best days of our lives is a rubbish concept really. I know loads of people say that they have such great times, but I really did not enjoy any aspect of school except the home time bell. I should’ve probably kept my head down after being singled out to push a sweet across the stage with my nose in my first week, or perhaps being stuck on a classroom roof and actually not being that bothered about it was a better ‘tell’ but never the less I took a while to realise that I may have possibly been a bit of a social misfit. That was when I actually focused on the world around me. To be honest it was much more fun not living in the real world so most of the time I didn’t.

However that was me and just because I didn’t like school doesn’t mean my son will hate it. In fact it is becoming quite clear to me that I am likely programming him not to like it with my negativity. I don’t mean to. I would love nothing more than for him to be permanently happy at school, but because I don’t expect this, I think that I pass my insecurities onto him when really I should be more encouraging.

So my ‘take home’ lesson is this. The next time my blood boils because Jimmy just isn’t paying attention or has forgotten again to bring his homework home; when he procrastinates instead of getting on with the task at hand or simply spends his time staring into space, I will stop and remember what it was like for me and ask who am I really getting angry at? I bet you anything that 90% of the time I will be looking inward on this one and dealing with my own latent issues first.