Before we left for Cape Town, it was clear that someone wasn’t keen on the journey.

‘I don’t want to go on a plane. They crash and I like my body thank you very much.’

Someone has clearly been hearing horror stories in the playground. Now may not be the time to introduce him to Lost.

‘Don’t be ridiculous,’ I told the boy, ‘nobody is doing any dying on a plane.’ Honestly, I would love to spend a day in this kids head! It must be very exciting in there…

‘Still,’ he said, ‘I think it would be best if we take a cruise to South Africa.’

Silly me.

‘Boy, we’ve just spent thousands of pounds on plane tickets…’

‘Bikes!!!’ he yelled, ‘we’ll go on bikes!’

But of COURSE!

Putting in order of tranquilisers now.