About this time now Patrick is in the air and on his way to Cape Town to finish up some business and tie up the sale of our home. I miss him already.

I’m now entering one of those weeks where I become a temporary single parent. While this is not the first time that he has been away from home for a few days, the prospect of going it alone is still a daunting one.

The dynamics of family life change when he is gone and by the time we get used to him not being around, he comes back and we readjust again. I like being productive and organised while he’s away and while that may sound great, in reality it is just my way of making sure that I keep myself and Jimmy occupied. Those of you who know us personally will understand that his bond with Patrick is very tight, which makes it even more important that I make sure Jimmy does not dwell to much on him being away for the next week or so. He misses his dad a lot.

This is where being a working mum is toughest and when all my flaws and insecurities are on display. Not only do you have to remain focused and on form at work, but you have to switch very quickly from being mom, to being a double parent and filling in the blanks while dad is away. I’ve become quite good at doing this. It comes from years of practice. One thing that you can’t plan on though is how a child’s emotions change as they grow up. I am very experienced at keeping a toddler occupied and happy, it’s different with a young lad who is not only very bright, but very expressive. No amount of parental tools can prepare you for an unplanned emotional response. It is at these times that I wish I could be around more to make up for Patrick’s absence.

Today was the first time Jimmy told me he needed to be alone. He needed the time to process the feelings that he had over Patrick leaving. He knows it’s not long, and he knows that he has been through this before. However he is growing up which means a certain level of understanding he didn’t have before, and as a parent, it becomes a delicate balancing act between what they need to know and what you want them know.

When he was very small I used to tell him fantastic stories of Patrick going off to fight dragons and for a living, which would leave him nodding solemnly and agreeing that of course Daddy had to go off and how brave he was. Now he wants to know what is really happening, which of course is not quite as exciting. I have to remind myself that he is an individual and in this case it means that he actually ‘gets’ a lot more than I sometimes give him credit for.

So he get’s that his dad has to go, he get’s that it is for work, he get’s that he is in school and can’t just go with him. He get’s that things do change a bit in these times.

Perhaps it’s because he’s 9, perhaps it’s because he is a boy, but I tell you, this is one resilient little guy. I have to wonder who is going to look after who this week.